MINNEAPOLIS-SAINT PAUL — The campaign of Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced today that their candidate will give his acceptance speech here next week from within the confines of a 5′x5′ box
The box, or Hanoi Hilton Lite as some surrogates are unofficially calling it behind closed doors, will be made to look like a Vietnamese prison cell, circa 1968.
McCain representatives said the move was designed to bolster their candidate’s image as a war hero, and his willingness to again go through excruciating circumstances to become the nation’s next commander-in-chief.
“This is the environment that molded John McCain into the maverick we’ve always known him to be, and to reconnect with today’s younger Americans who might have missed out on those 5 1/2 years of John’s life, he is putting himself back inside the box. For change,” said a McCain campaign adviser today.
The diminutive cell will come complete with a barred door and windows. The McCain campaign is also considering shipping in a handful of North Vietnamese interrogators to whip and taunt the GOP nominee as he delivers his acceptance speech.
Developing…
Kobolds for Obama 2008
21 August 2008
You really shouldn’t have pissed off Dungeons and Dragons players, John. Now you’ve given Dungeon Masters, players and their former enemies the Kobolds a reason to unite against you. At least you have 10 houses, huh?
The Perfect Cake for Today’s Four-Year-Old
13 August 2008
It’s times like these where I feel supremely comfortable being an arrogant, superficial jerk who thinks he’s better than certain people. Parenting FAIL.
Setting the Scene: On August 12, 2008, a Des Moines man named Hung Doc Vu (no pun intended, you’ll see what I mean) attempted to neuter his friend’s pooch with nothing more than a razor blade and a steady hand.
Long story short he botched the backroom procedure and was issued a citation. Unfortunately, Pooper (the pooch) was not issued a new set of balls, but was otherwise OK.
I quickly contacted Gonzo to discuss poor Pooper’s testicular plight:
Post revivial—Shapoopy!
12 August 2008
Showed this to Ms. Misbehave tonight and she asked, “did he just say shapoopy?” Why yes, dear, yes he did. Consider this an official back-in-the-game test post.
