Hate being right

OK, love being right. I said Capcom was going to totally piss all over the Bionic Commando name with their 3D “hardcore gamer” update, and they did. Awful title. Indicative of how sick the industry is when it comes to innovation and bowing down to the vocal minority hardcore crowd.

Dear IGN

Putting out blatantly false information about a company that *could* be true just so you can say your “inside info” elicited some kind of response from said company is not “breaking news.” It’s just being a page view-whoring group of douche bags.

50 Cent’s game: Failure in the sand?

How do you know when a game, in this day and age, is truly terrible? When it has all the necessary ingredients to be guaranteed a perfect 10 by the gaming blogs (violence, guns, machismo, guns, violence, realism, guns, graphics!!!!!11!!1), and it still can’t crack an aggregate 70% review score.

Mobius strip

A gaming blog lauds a departing fellow gaming journalist for his post criticizing the contempt publishers have for the gaming press when their site (and its juvenile audience) is, in fact, part of the reason why publishers refuse to take game journalists so seriously.

Pop quiz!

How can you easily spot the most elite of hardcore gamer douche bags?

Answer? They’re using one of these!

Excessive PlayStation gaming causes weird hand-related skin condition

I’ve actually heard the same thing about people who masturbate too much. Perhaps these are the same people?

Echo chamber

Remember that recent quip about video game blogger irrelevancy? Matt Casamassina over at IGN takes back the crown with this gem about MadWorld:

“Usually, lack of 480p support can be credited to developer laziness,” writes Casamassina. “No way such a claim can be leveled at Platinum Games for MadWorld… I’m wondering, then, if the studio simply wasn’t aware that 480p is ‘kind of a big deal’ for a chunk of Wii owners”

Remember when a “chunk” of console owners cared about having fun with their games, and not progressive or interlaced bullshit statements like the one above? Oh, they still do, and this is just another out of touch games journalist with a shrinking audience? You don’t say.

And, maybe the developers were too focused on, I dunno, making a good game than worrying about the inflated self-importance of the “HD movement.” Just a hunch. It’s also in black and white. So, there’s that.

Innovation

FPS game developers could save themselves time and money by following a few simple steps. First, get every FPS developer in a room. Second, come up with a universal platform that each can freely access and modify. Third, do the same with weapons. Lastly, merge into one giant FPS-creating conglomerate because they’re all starting to look the exact fucking same.

Sack up and speak the truth, GameStop!

I really wish GameStop would stop being so nice with the video game publishers and developers. Take off the damn kid gloves already and tell them that used games aren’t what’s eating away at their profits—it’s their flawed, poorly planned, “hardcore” audience-only, unsupported Hollywood budget game development model that’s the culprit.

And GameStop COO, J. Paul Raines, didn’t take questions after his keynote to developers at D.I.C.E. last week. No kidding he didn’t; his company isn’t doing anything wrong.

Random Monday thought

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that this is the year hundreds of thousands of tough guy “hardcore gamers” will quietly fire up and play the shit out of their neglected Wii consoles? Not all at once, of course, as pride is a fickle bitch affecting some Neanderthals more than others.